According to researchers, humor can positively affect physical and mental health. Laughter is the best medicine. And do you know that this medicine can be synonymous with a person?
Yes, Steven Wright and his truly genius delivery style have all the ability to heal your daily mental traumas. He is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and writer known for his one-liner comedy and deadpan delivery.
Born on December 6, 1955, in New York City, he is the only living stand-up legend whose jokes are appropriate for Twitter. I’ve had multiple laugh conniptions watching his shows back in the day.
He doesn’t perform as much anymore, but I love his delivery. It’s not just deadpan. He delivers his punchlines with the cadence of feedlines and then pauses while you get the joke.
Listening to Steven Wright is like a contest between you and the audience. See if you get the joke before they start to laugh. His jokes are brief and expertly absurd and quickly change their context but not their meaning.
In this article, we’ve shared 70+ Funny And Motivational Quotes By Steven Wright.
Table of Contents
What Makes Him Unique?
Wright gained popularity in the 1980s, winning the prestigious Perrier Comedy Award at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 1981. He has been a part of numerous television shows and movies. His deadpan delivery style and unconventional comedic timing are what made him famous. It resonated with audiences, making him people’s favorite in no time.
What sets Steven Wright apart and contributes to his fame is his distinct delivery and observational humor. He became known for his dry, monotone voice and delivery, combined with witty and absurd one-liners that often explore the ironic and surreal aspects of everyday life. His jokes are characterized by their clever wordplay, unexpected punchlines, and offbeat observations.
Why Do People Still Connect With His Comedy?
What makes Steven Wright relevant in the present world is his timeless humor. His comedy continues to resonate with audiences today. The ability to find humor in the ordinary and to present it in a dry and unexpected manner is a skill that transcends time and generational gaps. His jokes often touch on universal experiences and observations, making them relatable to a wide range of people.
Steven Wright’s influence can be seen in the work of many contemporary comedians. His distinctive style has inspired a new generation of performers who appreciate his wit, delivery, and unconventional approach to comedy.
Funny And Motivational Quotes By Steven Wright
Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.– Steven Wright
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.– Steven Wright
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.– Steven Wright
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.– Steven Wright
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.– Steven Wright
The judge asked, “What do you plead? I said, Insanity, your honor, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?– Steven Wright
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.– Steven Wright
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.– Steven Wright
Today I dialed a wrong number… The other person said, Hello? and I said, Hello, could I speak to Joey?… They said, Uh… I don’t think so…he’s only 2 months old. I said, I’ll wait.– Steven Wright
What a nice night for an evening.– Steven Wright
Hilarious Steven Wright quotes
Humor fuels creativity. Using funny quotes from Steven Wright can help individuals to break the monotony of workday and increase their creativity.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?– Steven Wright
What’s another word for Thesaurus?– Steven Wright
When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.– Steven Wright
I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.– Steven Wright
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.– Steven Wright
I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.– Steven Wright
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?– Steven Wright
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.– Steven Wright
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?– Steven Wright
I went to a fancy french restaurant called Deja Vu. The headwaiter said, Don’t I know you?– Steven Wright
I went to a general store. They wouldn’t let me buy anything specifically.– Steven Wright
I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.– Steven Wright
I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, What for? I said, I’m going to buy some sugar.– Steven Wright
Best Funny Quotes By Steven Wright
If you write the word monkey a million times, do you start to think you’re Shakespeare?– Steven Wright
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.– Steven Wright
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above…so I never have to go upstairs.– Steven Wright
In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence.– Steven Wright
It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to have to paint it.– Steven Wright
Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.– Steven Wright
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.– Steven Wright
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.– Steven Wright
My socks DO match. They’re the same thickness.– Steven Wright
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.– Steven Wright
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn’t going to be on the road an hour.– Steven Wright
OK, so what’s the speed of dark?– Steven Wright
If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?– Steven Wright
You can’t have everything … where would you put it?– Steven Wright
I’m so tired… I was up all night trying to round off infinity.– Steven Wright
I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.– Steven Wright
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?– Steven Wright
Popular Quotes By Steven Wright
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?– Steven Wright
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.– Steven Wright
If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?– Steven Wright
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.– Steven Wright
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.– Steven Wright
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.– Steven Wright
Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.– Steven Wright
Smoking cures weight problems…eventually.– Steven Wright
Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, Wish you were here.– Steven Wright
How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?– Steven Wright
Funny Steven Wright Quotes To Give You A Laugh When You Need One
According to a survey more than 70 percent of people report feeling stressed about money at least some of the time.
Here are some quotes by Steven Wright about money.
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.– Steven Wright
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.– Steven Wright
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.– Steven Wright
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.– Steven Wright
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.– Steven Wright
I live on a one-way street that’s also a dead end. I’m not sure how I got there.– Steven Wright
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child…eventually.– Steven Wright
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?– Steven Wright
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.– Steven Wright
My neighbor has a circular driveway…he can’t get out.– Steven Wright
I installed a skylight in my apartment…the people who live above me are furious!– Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quotes To Brighten Your Day
If God dropped acid, would he see people?– Steven Wright
If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them.– Steven Wright
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?– Steven Wright
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?– Steven Wright
On the other hand, you have different fingers.– Steven Wright
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.– Steven Wright
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?– Steven Wright
I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.– Steven Wright
Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business.– Steven Wright
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.– Steven Wright
If you can’t hear me, it’s because I’m in parentheses.– Steven Wright
I named my dog Stay, so I can say, ‘Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!– Steven Wright
I got a garage door opener. It can’t close. Just open.– Steven Wright
My secret to staying young… Having no sense of time.– Steven Wright
More Inspirational Quotes By Steven Wright
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.– Steven Wright
The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.– Steven Wright
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.– Steven Wright
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.– Steven Wright
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.– Steven Wright
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.– Steven Wright
Always remember your unique, just like everone else.– Steven Wright
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.– Steven Wright
Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.– Steven Wright
The Bottom Line
Steven Wright is known for his deadpan delivery and one-liner comedy. His timeless humor and influence on the comedy world make him relevant and celebrated in the present day, as his wit continues to captivate audiences and inspire aspiring comedians.
The above quotes come from his unique style, characterized by dry humor and absurd observations. Which one of the quotes by Steven Wright did you like the most and why? comment below.
Also read: 35 Rumi Quotes On Self Love And Self Worth