There’s black and white; the magic, though, lies in the enigmatic grey.
Somewhere, nestled calmly between ‘the Alpha’ and ‘the Beta,’ reigns the lone wolf of all personality archetypes, ‘the Sigma.’
If you’ve come across those mysteriously charming and seemingly carefree men that trot merrily into their respective offices in comfy casuals or those that unassumingly point out glaring slips in the PPT presentations of their project manager in a team meeting or correct a prospective girlfriend’s grammatical errors instead of noticing and complimenting her skin-show in the very first date… you may have met a sigma male already.
Forever nomads in their hearts, there’s an irresistible charm in these contemplative, quiet, hardwired intellectuals that would make anyone want to learn how to be a sigma male irrespective of their established personality types.
For those yet to get enlightened about this personality type, this concise list of core attributes is sure to help.
Table of Contents
Core Attributes of a Sigma Males
Sigma Males Are Unchained Nomads
They are never too keen on settling down with anything. They love to flirt with the risks of impermanence.
Sigma Males Are Contemplative, Silent, Hardwired Intellectuals
They are seldom seen with their foot in their mouth. They don’t squawk or vie for attention in social / professional gatherings. They listen, understand, and speak only when their words count.
They Work ‘with’ Companies. They Don’t Work ‘for’ Them
Indifference to authority characterizes sigma males. They know their core skills and use these skills at best to achieve given targets.
They are non-responsive to hierarchical bullying and are most likely to stand up against it irrespective of consequences.
For A Sigma Male, ‘life’ And ‘norms’ Are Parallel
Sigma males may never marry, never have children, never buy a house, avoid socializing, seldom date, or even remain happily unmoved by only-fans display stars. Norms don’t apply to sigma males.
Sigma Males Are Immune To Halo Effect
They are the dudes that know perfect bodies don’t make perfect people. So, they will look beyond size zero frames, desperate bralettes, pouty smiles, and coquetry to see if a prospect is worth his standards. People that are intellectually vacant can never impress a sigma male.
They Are 100% Self-Reliant
Being financially independent is not enough. A sigma male relies on themselves for everything, including cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, taking the trash out, etc.
He Needs His Space
Instinctually introverted, a sigma male thrives in his space. He is seen sharing his space only with people he deeply connects with.
Sigma Males Are Not Hungry For Power
Unlike Alphas, sigma males don’t need to head a flock to establish their importance. He does his share of the work faultlessly and can perfectly lead a team when required. Racing up the professional ladder doesn’t motivate him as much as achieving perfection in his job.
He Doesn’t Need Validation
Awards, rewards, compliments, the sigma male is forever indifferent to validation. He knows his worth and feels no urgency to go around proving it.
They Have Very High EQ
Sigma males are emotionally stable and are seldom seen in the midst of dramas and outbursts. However, they are great at mediating conflicts and easing tensions.
Why Be A Sigma Male Anyway?
Before gaining more information on how to be a Sigma Male, it is necessary to know why to make an attempt in the first place.
- You learn to live free and on your own terms.
- Your happiness quotient increases because you have no one to please.
- You are self-motivated and always work to your full potential, not because you are intimidated by authority but because of your own self-satisfaction.
- You gain a deeper insight into yourself; you understand exactly what you want from life, strive for it, and achieve it.
- Your intellectual wellness increases making your persona literally magnetic.
- You develop an aura of enigma around you.
- You spend time and energy on the right people.
- You are free of ego and are least likely to make rash decisions.
- People will always be intrigued by you and will often want to know more about you.
- You will be independent in every way.
In short, as a sigma male, you are more likely to live a happier and more fulfilling life, a life free of unnecessary expectations and complaints.
How to be a Sigma Male
You are who you are, and there’s very little anyone can do to cloak their default personality settings. On second thoughts, what’s the harm in trying? I mean, if humankind could evolve from apes to Homo Sapiens, then transforming from alpha and beta personalities to sigma is way within reach.
So, if you are ready to learn how to be a Sigma Male, work on imbibing these attributes into your default behavioral setting.
In simple words, be on the outside as you are on the inside without worrying about who will be pleased by it and who wouldn’t. Never try to change yourself (the good attributes, I mean) to suit the interests of others.
Listen And Understand Before Speaking
Unlike Alpha males, that are always the first to dominate a conversation, and beta males, that hardly speak up, as a sigma male, you should listen attentively, comprehend the situation, and then speak your mind fearlessly yet politely on the matter hand.
To be a sigma thus, you may have to work on your observation, comprehension, and communication skills and excel in them.
Rule Without Ruling
Unlike Alphas, a Sigma male doesn’t feel the need to dominate everyone and everything. He leads without being bossy, supports the personal and professional growth of his team members, never takes undue credit, and never ever feeds off other people’s submissions.
Sigma is a benevolent King who never pulls his weight around unless it is absolutely necessary to remedy a situation.
Don’t Let Anyone Dominate You Or Take Decisions For You
This goes out mainly to the beta personalities. If you wish to learn how to be a Sigma male, start by learning how to make your own decisions.
Many articles circulating search engines often wrongly point out that Beta males ‘cannot’ make their own decisions and let others make them for them.
On the contrary, though, beta males are oversensitive to the impact of their decisions on the lives of other people, especially those that are close to them.
Therefore, they cross-check with the latter and wilfully bend their decisions to ensure that their loved ones will be equally happy as him.
As a sigma, you need to worry less about others and focus more on yourself. If you need to decide on something and you know that it is beneficial overall, go ahead with full confidence.
Be Happy In Your Skin
Too short, too tall, too skinny, overweight, paunch, not a trendsetting fashionista, sigma males are always confident in their skin. While they aren’t the shabby sort, they certainly are indifferent to superficial beauty.
They are aware of who they are as a person and allow the depth of their personas to spin an irresistibly charming aura around them.
They are the Masters of Letting Go
Sigma males are free of fixations. Be it people, jobs, hobbies, or anything for that matter, they don’t go out of their way to hang on to someone or something that is doing them no good.
If dates don’t return a call or have been unresponsive to texts, he lets go and never thinks about them again.
If a job is unrewarding and unappreciative, he proceeds to pursue his career in a different place where his skills are respected.
If he’s bored with a hobby, he switches his interests.
When you learn to let go easily, remember you’ve moved one step ahead to become a perfect sigma.
Never Fear Authority
If you’re the sort that bosses can colleagues can pile their extra workload on; if you constantly overtime to please the hierarchy; if you have been validating red flags in your partner only because you fear loneliness if she leaves, you need to grow a spine with immediate effect.
Sigma males are not intimidated by authority. They speak up for themselves when they know they have done no wrong, irrespective of the consequences. They don’t take nonsense from anyone. You shouldn’t either.
Develop a Love for Adventure
Life is one big adventure, but we are looking for a little more here. Sigma males are drawn into activities that take them away from the banalities and trigger some real adrenalin.
Trekking, mountain climbing, rafting, skiing, motorcycling, take your pick, and start experimenting with your wild side.
Be Happy for No Reason and Be Happy for Yourself
Happiness is a default state of existence in sigma males. They never allow other people and external situations to influence their inner peace and joy. There are a number of happiness exercises that you can do to improve your happiness quotient. Practicing affirmations and gratitude is the quickest and most effective way to start developing this trait.
Work on your EQ
An important step in learning how to be a sigma male is to learn how to control your thoughts, feelings, and actions instead of letting your thoughts, feelings, and actions control you. Emotional stability is an admirable trait of sigma males and often makes them the anchor of a team or family.
Thankfully, there are many scientifically-backed exercises to improve EQ, many of which I’ll discuss in my forthcoming articles.
Don’t Display Your Life on Social Media
Sigma males are introverts and keep their lives to themselves. They don’t feel the need to telecast their lives for strangers and are least appreciative of those that do.
They leave people guessing about them not by intent but by inherent character traits.
So, if you have your entire life magnified in social media, try and exercise some control. Here’s a quick guide that can help.
- Stay offline for a few hours a day.
- Post only once in a while, and post what matters.
- Don’t comment on every post that comes your way.
- Don’t scroll unnecessarily.
- Read a book instead.
Be Flexible, Be Adaptive
Sigma males are neither outright stubborn nor pusillanimously submissive. They are flexible and can easily adapt to situations on their own terms.
They are unattached to personality stereotypes and, thus, always find out-of-the-box solutions to sudden or persistent problems.
Improving your Intelligent and Intellectual Quotient can go a long way in helping you become flexible and adaptive.
Help Without Judging
Stop preaching, stop judging, stop dishing out unsolicited pieces of advice, and stop being condescending as a sigma male.
All you gotta do is be there for those that need your assistance without pulling your weight around or expecting a standing ovation for your services. Be genuinely available without being attached to the situation.
Sigma males thrive in solitude. This is the quickest remedy to self-awareness. Thus, learn to embrace solitude, be in silence and enjoy your own company.
This is literally therapeutic. It’s medicine to your intellect; it’s a remedy for superficiality; it’s the catalyst for self-growth and a practice that would add magnetism to your aura. Try to believe it, but remember not to fake it!
Don’t Get Pulled Into Gossip And Drama
As interesting as it may be, as motivated as you may feel about participating with a tub of popcorn handy, as much as you would like to know who broke up with who and why stay away! Sigma males base their judgment on facts, not fiction.
Quick tips on how to keep yourself from the gossip spell.
- Do not trail the gossip group
- Do not comment on it
- Do not spread the word around
- Do not judge a person based on gossip
The result? You will gain trust and respect in your immediate circle.
Sigma Males, You and I May Know
Steve Jobs, Keanu Reeves, Bruce Wayne (Batman), Sherlock Holmes, and my husband Kunal are the epitomes of Sigmas and the key motivation behind this article.
Unleash Your Inner Sigma
When it comes to personalities, there is a little bit of alpha, beta, omega, and sigma in everyone. What defines you, though, is the trait that is dominant in you.
Sigma males, by far, are the rarest of personality types. As per research, less than 1% of the male population are sigmas.
The good news is you can learn how to be a sigma male with only a few tweaks here and there to remedy existing behavioral deficits. A little awareness and a little practice are all that it takes to unleash your inner sigma.
Go ahead and let us know your experience.
Also read: 10 Signs Of Gaslighting