How To Be Yourself When You Don’t Know Who You Are

how to be yourself

In a world that actively preaches, ‘you can be anything you want to be’… how often have you struggled with figuring out How to be Yourself when you don’t know who you are

It is easy to lose yourself in the excesses of the 21st century, where social norms, character attributes, terms of acceptance, and perceptions of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ are unreasonably superficial and pre-determined. 

These are the times when being the real you is always a challenge, given the toxic judgments that inevitably follow just about anything anyone does differently, especially those that don’t live up to prevalent social standards.  

Putting on a mask, therefore, seems to be the easiest solution to win easy acceptance. However, the price that you end up paying for suppressing the ‘Real You’ is often risky and self-destructive. 

Prioritizing How To Be Yourself When You Don’t Know Who You Are Is A Crucial Step Towards Self Growth

Learning how to be yourself when you don’t know who you are is a revolutionary phase in self-discovery that is near equivalent to the enlightenment of the soul. 

In this phase of awakening, you get to experience a set of uplifting changes that are bound to enrich your existence with meaning and purpose. It includes:

  • Wholesome acceptance of self 
  • Understanding your true strengths
  • A motivated drive to pursue your real goals 
  • An unwavering sense of confidence 
  • Fearlessly inviting necessary positive changes in life 
  • Discovering purpose
  • Experiencing blissful inner peace 
  • Accepting others the way they are 
  • Helping people around you learn the importance of being themselves

8 Steps To Learn How To Be Yourself When You Don’t Know Who You Are

You are neither your Body nor your Name; Your identity is neither in your achievements nor in your failures; You are but a part of the Cosmic Whole and a product of a set of mortal experiences.

To understand ‘Who You Are’ may take several lifetimes, but ‘Being Yourself’ right here right now is certainly not impossible. Here’s a quick lesson on getting you started on the path to self-discovery.

We Are What We Think

how to be yourself

People often say, ‘we are what we think.’ 

To understand how to be yourself when you don’t know who you are, you need to be attentive to what you think about and, more importantly, observe how you react to it. 

For example, if you find yourself thinking about the flashy cruise trip you have booked on your friend’s advice when you actually wish to invest your time on a staycation instead, you may have evaded your true self to put on a more socially acceptable mask. 

The Motivation Factor

how to be yourself

You Can Do It! Forge Ahead! Sky is the Limit! If these first results of a random google search fail to motivate you, you may be the type of person that works more productively when someone says… Take a break; Relax for a couple of days; It is ok to slow down once in a while, but don’t stop trying. 

The ‘Go Getter’ spirit comes in many varieties. Some are like the Ram that headbutts its way through challenges, and some, like a butterfly, that transforms in stages to reach its full potential. 

The idea is, if you are a butterfly, don’t adopt Ram’s way of success because it will destroy you eventually. And if you are a ram, don’t try the butterfly’s guide to success because then, you will drain your existence over something that is never meant to happen for you.

Feel Free To Feel 

how to be yourself

Feel what you feel unapologetically and let no one bully you into believing that there is only one way to react to a situation. Keeping a close watch on how you feel and react to a certain situation discloses a lot about who you truly are. 

Remember, when you stop masking your feelings to blend in with others and express your feelings honestly, fearlessly, and unapologetically, congratulate yourself on taking a step towards Being the Unfiltered You.

Who Triggers Your Masks? 

how to be yourself

Observe people and groups around whom you need to cloak your real self. These are the people that somehow intimidate you into expressing glee when you are actually unhappy, emotionally manipulate you to support a cause when you are actually against it, influence you to spend on luxury when you are better off frugal so on and so forth. 

This is exactly the type of company that eventually gives you serious identity crises. And this is exactly the type of people you need to avoid if you really want to be yourself.

Stop Being The Blind Believer

how to be yourself

When you blindly believe ‘Society’s Version of You,’ what you should do, how you should live, how you should think, and what you should believe in, your true self is sure to gather dust. 

With the terms and conditions of your existence pre-set and pre-dictated, you will continue to suppress yourself till the ‘Real You’ erupts like a volcano. 

Remember, do not get bullied into changing your behavior or actions unless it is unlawful or affecting others negatively. Listen to your inner self and follow your gut. This is one of the best ways you can learn how to be yourself when you don’t know who you are

Decide Your Priorities

how to be yourself

A mansion, luxury cars, Insta vacations, social media charity displays, awards, and accolades, etc., are the current standards of success. Pursuing these standards define the thoughts and actions of the majority these days. 

However, unchain yourself from these superficial social viewpoints for once and think, will you be happy with a little home, a loving family, and just enough to go by, instead? Remember, success never follows the ‘one shoe fits all rule.’ 

Therefore, when you prioritize your goals based on what your inner being wants, you can learn to be yourself and that too, fearlessly.

Your Time Your Way

how to be yourself

Your peer group may want to spend the weeknights partying till 4 in the morning. But you wish to stay home, paint a little, meditate a little, and hit the bed by 22:00hrs. Your peer group may pronounce that you have aged beyond your years, but in all honesty, you only prefer the peace of mind over mindless wastage of energy. 

Forcing yourself to do what your friends expect you to do and pretend that you like it at the same time will only compel you to become who you are NOT. It will drain you of your energy and leave you mentally exhausted.

Saying ‘No’ to activities that leave you drained and exhausted is a great step towards learning how to be yourself. 

Discover your Passion

how to be yourself

You are 100% yourself when you engage in activities that you have chosen without anyone suggesting it or manipulating you into it. Be it painting, music, philanthropy, woodwork, poetry, ghost hunting, photography, gossiping, sports, and the list go on. 

Dedicate time to your passion without dwelling on other people’s opinions, and be rest assured that people will start respecting your real self than their constructed version of you. 

Final Thoughts

Figuring out how to be yourself when you don’t know who you are is a constant ongoing struggle that eventually sets you apart from the crowd.

Remember, as an individual; you can reach your maximum potential only when you are comfortable being yourself and put in conscious efforts towards maximizing your inborn attributes than trying to mimic a different personality altogether.

Also read: Never Be Too Much Available For Someone