You being here, looking for ammunition to make a narcissist fear you, shows that you must have had trouble with them in the recent past or are going through it right now.
You don’t deserve to be gaslighted or manipulated in ways that a narcissist is capable of doing. The trauma that you feel because of that is real.
You may not be able to change them or their nature, but you can surely navigate your way around them with more assertion. You can enforce boundaries and even get out of their snare with the right approach.
This article will discuss the traits of a narcissist, how to identify them and, of course, how to make a narcissist fear you.
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“Narcissism” is a personality trait characterised by a vivid sense of self-importance, admiration and arrogance. Even though it might commonly be referred to as “NPD” (Narcissistic personality disorder), it is not necessarily a disorder.
Sometimes, it is the result of a series of experiences that a person has gone through during his formative years.
They display an excessive need for power and control, and they may try to achieve it via extreme manipulation, lies, deceit and lack of empathy.
In short, they believe themselves to be the best and look down on others and do not shy away from disrespecting others.
How you choose to deal with the narcissist in your life will depend on the type of narcissist you are dealing with. There are three common types of narcissists. These are :
It is the classic form of narcissism in which a person displays a grandiose sense of self-importance. They need excessive admiration from people in their life. In short, they are attention-seekers who lack empathy.
As the name suggests, this type of narcissist has low self-esteem and is insecure. They may not display grandiosity overtly, but covertly they have a strong sense of entitlement and a need for admiration and attention.
This type of narcissist displays grandiosity along with aggression. They can be sadists and may secretly enjoy causing harm or pain to others. They also may show behaviours like bullying, manipulation and gaslighting.
Identifying Traits of Narcissism In People Around Us
Now that you have a fair idea of what narcissism is let’s dive into the kind of traits that they often display and how to identify them.
It is often challenging as most people may exhibit some degree of narcissistic behaviour from time to time, but a real narcissist will show the following characteristics with a pattern.
There will be a method to their actions which are often toxic but sugar-coated in charm.
Narcissists often have an inflated sense of their talents and abilities. They are driven by this urge to bask in the light of self-importance.
Need for Admiration and Attention
Their need for attention and admiration surpasses everything else, and they display extreme anger and sadness when they don’t receive it.
Narcissistic individuals often display condescending behaviour towards others. In their need to assert self-importance, they belittle or outright dismiss others’ opinions and feelings.
They believe themselves entitled to receive special treatment from people, to receive privileges and to seek their attention and admiration.
Lack of Empathy
A Narcissistic individual will often display an inability to understand the feelings of others or to care about them. They often display short and sometimes long periods of indifference during which they might act cold or distant.
How To Make A Narcissist Fear You
It is not recommended to seek revenge on a Narcissist. Don’t use manipulative tactics with them; they will definitely beat you. But you can use the psychological tactics mentioned to protect yourself from further abuse and assert your boundaries.
Take Away The Control
The way Narcissists work is by having control over you. They often try to do this by making you feel bad about yourself. They make you feel unworthy of basic love and respect.
Working on your self-respect is the best you can do in such a case. Take control of your own life. Try to detach and learn to take care of yourself on your own.
That will give a big blow to their inflated ego and grandiose self-importance.
Criticise And Reject
One thing a narcissist fears is their image. They feed their narcissism with the fuel of worth that people associate with them in their life.
Criticism will drive them over the edge as they will be overwhelmed with feelings of failure and loss.
For someone who believes he is the most important, the feeling of not being good enough is too much to bear. Beware of offering only constructive criticism, or they might lash out and show aggression.
They are really thin-skinned and cannot bear rejection. It hurts their pride and makes them feel inadequate and invalidated, which is their narc fuel.
Control Your Own Emotions
When dealing with a narcissist, you must know that if you aren’t in control of your emotions, they will. It’s easy to get carried away and react to their instigations.
But you can never match their level of crazy, and if you do, you will simply be mirroring their behaviour. You will soon be becoming them.
Hence, stay calm and composed under their attack. Keep them guessing. Don’t let them have the satisfaction of seeing you squirm under pressure.
Don’t Give Them Attention
Attention is one of the top five fuels that drive a narcissist. Starve them of it and then see the magic unfold.
They can survive on negative or positive, any kind of attention. They take it as a way to boost their self-esteem.
You will find them uneasy and fearful that they might be losing control over you once you start to act unamused and uninterested in them.
Starve Them Of Empathy
One reason an empath is a top choice or target for a Narcissist is that an empath is a born giver, while a narc is a born taker.
An empath provides the narc with the fuel that is necessary to keep them going, i.e. attention, care, admiration, love or money.
Starve them of these things that make them feel more alive and give them a sense of control.
Set Boundaries And Enforce Them
Boundaries will make a narc feel out of control.
Hence, they might look for loopholes in your boundaries and break the walls. You need to clearly state that these boundaries are non-negotiable and will have severe consequences if they try to disrespect them.
In time they might learn to respect your boundaries and accept your terms.
One Of the fuels that feed narc behaviour is their demands being met. Saying no is an art you must learn, especially when dealing with a narcissist.
Saying no is a rejection by a narcissist. It is a form of non-compliance with their demands and losing control over you.
They might hit back with charm or aggression to make you submit, but remember, don’t give in. Stick to your gun and watch them squirm.
Strengthen Your Support System
One of the tactics that a narcissist often uses to have more control over their victim is separating them from the people who care for them. They need to isolate their victim to make them fall into submission.
It threatens that someone might see through the charming mask they have put up and call them out in front of you. Keep them close, who you love and care for and who you know has your best interest at heart. Allow others to love and support you, and don’t abandon them to please the narcissist.
Narcs take great pride in their image and how people perceive them. Public humiliation will call them out in front of people, breaking their outer facade.
Their inflated ego will shatter, which will evoke shame and embarrassment in them. Shame is something they fear greatly. And they will do anything to protect the image and outer facade they created.
Go No Contact
If nothing works, this will definitely work with a narcissist. You should physically and emotionally distance yourself from them.
Distance yourself and heal from the trauma of their abuse and toxic behaviour. If this no contact is sudden, it is even better cause this will throw them off balance.
A Narcissist will interpret this as rejection. They will feel abandoned and with a sense of loss.
A Narcissist will often appear charming at first, but once you are caught in their snare, they will slowly start with their exploitation.
Narcissistic abuse is often dismissed with words like adjustment and reconciliation. But sometimes, the best way to deal with such toxicity is to take charge of your life and go “no contact”.
Walk away, choose yourself and save yourself. Start running now and never look back!