Nope! Not an iota of gratitude even after having propped that heavy café door open, with the noble intention of helping a random grey goose trailing right behind me step out comfortably.
She stepped out like an Empress, made no eye contact with me, and walked her way with zero thankfulness as if I was duty-bound to serve her royal majesty. How rude!
Recollecting another odd occasion, when I complimented a 60+ woman on how beautiful she was looking in that shimmery black dress, to which she replied that she always looked fantastic, and then took liberties to point out that I could look good too if I tried a different stylist and remedy my fat ankles!
Rude people are everywhere. For how much we wish there could be a legally imposed fine for rudeness, there isn’t.
So, it is necessary that we, the victims, learn how to deal with rude people and maneuver successfully through cactus fields of snarky remarks, cold shoulders, ungratefulness, deliberate badmouthing, and other such thorns that lodge rather painfully on our emotional rear ends, and emerge unscathed.
Table of Contents
Why Are People Rude
There are as many reasons why a person can be rude as there are asteroids hurtling loose in the universe.
Before learning how to deal with rude people, it is necessary to know why some people act this way, even with minimal or no instigation.
Here’s your answer.
Low Self-Worth, Self-Image, And Inferiority Complex
Individuals suffering from low self-worth and self-image often like giving others get a taste of the inner chaos with unapologetic rudeness.
This misplaced sense of power gives them a temporary high, after which it all comes crashing down once again.
Persistent Personal Problems
There’s a lesson I learned after watching the movie ‘Grudge’ (mostly with my eyes shut for obvious reasons).
People that suffer silently often project their pain onto others by becoming the ‘pain’ themselves.
Rudeness is often an outburst of anxiety, anger, stress, burnout, and depression in people that are perturbed by persistent personal problems.
Foul-mouthing known / random people, deliberately forgetting common codes of decency, and making conscious attempts at pulling others down only for the sake of venting is, thus, a reflection of their inner turmoil.
Mental / Psychological Problems
An unnecessarily sour disposition can often be owed to mental/psychological issues like depression, bipolar disorder, multiple personality disorder, PTSD, etc., especially when they go untreated. The inability to deal with emotions can make a person rude.
Immaturity Low Emotional Quotient
Some people simply don’t understand how to stay calm and behave themselves in situations that somehow trigger discomfort in them.
What may be perceived as rudeness under such circumstances may only be an act of self-protection.
People learn from their immediate environments. Those that have grown up seeing ungratefulness, abuse, disrespect, impolite behavior, and impatience, develop rudeness as a behavioral staple even without realizing it.
Strange but true cultural differences can make a person appear rude. Say, for example, it is normal for men to greet women with a peck on their cheek in many western nations.
However, in many Asian countries, this would be considered unforgivably rude.
How to Deal with Rude People
‘Be the point where rudeness stops.’
Rude Colleagues, Bosses, Cab Drivers, Helpers, Waiters, Teachers, Friends, Relatives, and Random Strangers.
You never know where, how and from whom rudeness will make its way to you.
And, let me tell you with absolute certainty that whatever and whoever may be the reason behind this vile episode, your next 24 to 48 hours will, quite naturally, be emotionally acidic, filled with anger, frustration, anxiety, and gloom.
If you’re not spreading rudeness, you shouldn’t be on the receiving end too.
Everyone has problems in their lives, and so do we, the victims of unnecessary rudeness.
Therefore, the last thing we need is to let toxic behaviors from random rude dudes affect our lives and make them worse than it already is.
While there’s no way you can control the actions of others, here are a few potent time-tested tips on how to deal with rude people that will help you stay happy and unaffected no matter what comes your way.
Strange but true, sometimes, you can win epic battles by simply walking away. Do not engage with a rude person, EVER, especially during violent outbursts.
Do not argue; Do not reason; Do not express grief and expect them to understand. Just Walk Away. The point will be well received.
Let Them Know They Were Rude
It isn’t much you can do against random acts of rudeness by random strangers.
But, if the rudeness comes from members in your familiar everyday environment, take the first opportunity to let them know that their act was rude.
They may deny it or try to gaslight you. But stay firm and make it clear to them that you will not entertain such behaviors from anyone.
‘Why are you being so rude? Have I done something to offend you? If yes, I’m sorry it was unintentional. If not, why are you being so rude?’
Mold the questions in your way, but do start with ‘why.’ Our brain is wired to focus on the subject of a spoken sentence rather than the predicate.
Therefore, when you ask ‘why’ they are being so rude, their brain will focus on the cause behind their behavior and eventually come to the realization that rudeness was, in fact, unnecessary.
Laugh It Off With A Wisecrack
He who’s witty is he who laughs last. Kill rudeness with laughter, mirth, and wit. Dust it off with a wisecrack.
People that are rude by nature expect unsuspecting recipients of their behavioral excesses to get negatively impacted by it.
By laughing it off and walking away, you take away their power for good.
Be Kind And Wish The Rude Dude A Good Day
People these days are tuned to giving only what they receive. Therefore, always remember that those who are characteristically rude are recipients of continuous rudeness themselves.
Adding a little more to their basket of gloom, anger, and anxiety will only make it overflow. Hence, the outbursts at anyone that crosses their way.
Be kind instead. Show them that their behavior didn’t affect you. Smile and tell them to have a good day even if, in your heart of hearts, you would want to wish them a cactus throne.
Get Enlightened About Cultures
We have learned in the previous section of this article a little about cultural differences being an often ignored reason why people appear rude.
Therefore, if you find yourself in a situation where the behavior of a culturally different individual seems rude, it will only serve your interest to learn about their culture and understand why they behave the way they do. It will always help maintain peace and harmony with better understanding.
Don’t Make It Personal Or Brood Over It
Remember, it is not about you. It never was. Rudeness is a ‘choice.’ It is not instinctive.
Therefore, kick dust on the matter, say your gratitude, and trot into a happy and peaceful day 😊
Don’t Pass Rudeness On To Others
This is one of those rare occasions where you should not ‘give what you receive.’ Rudeness can be contagious.
Therefore, be on your guard. Be careful about what you pass around because it can come back to you manifold.
If someone has been rude to you, consciously ensure that you remain calm and respectful towards everyone for the rest of the day and beyond.
The impact of this godly behavior on your self-growth is literally magical.
The Bottom Line
Learning these time-tested tips on how to deal with rude people can go a long way in conditioning our brains and overall psychological systems to handle rudeness in non-aggressive and positive-constructive ways.
It shields you from the negative impacts of being exposed to emotionally threatening situations that could cause severe stress, trauma, and mild depression as well.
Forgive and get going.