It is Divine to Care but, Caring too much is the recipe for Self-Destruction.
Caring may be one of the many divine attributes of human nature, but, believe it or not, excessive caring can have very disturbing consequences. Stress, inadequacy, anxiety, depression, self-doubt, irritability, and eventual burnout are only a few to mention.
In the view of mental health experts, ‘over-caring individuals’ often make tremendous physical, emotional and even professional adjustments in order to accommodate the interests of others in their lives.
In their relentless efforts to make everything better for everyone, they often end up overlooking their own interests and well-being.
This causes serious discontent that eventually paves the way for emotional trauma.
Are you an over-caring individual?
Do you think you care too much for everyone? Here is a checklist for quick enlightenment:
- You always feel that your friends, family, colleagues will require your help.
- You jump in to save the day every time you see someone in trouble, even before they ask you for help.
- You feel sad and hurt when people refuse to take your support / assistance.
- You get attached to people way too much and way too quickly and, therefore, try to absorb all their problems into you.
- You always need validation for the help you offer and often sulk when you don’t get what you are looking for.
- You overthink literally every action of others towards you, no matter how miniscule.
- You have often been told by your near and dear ones that ‘you care too much.’
- You make dramatic changes in your schedule only to accommodate the interests of others.
- You seldom speak your mind because you don’t want to upset those with different opinions.
- You never reveal your pain and emotions, especially to those that receive your care.
If you have ticked off 4 or more pointers from this checklist, read on to find out how you can re-establish your emotional stability and happiness without having to stop caring altogether.
You Cannot Give What You Don’t Have
Care is best given by those that do not end up needing it just as much. Therefore, if your caring nature is causing you to lose your inner peace and joy, it may be time to sit back and think, ‘How much Caring is Too Much’?
The key is to save yourself from emotional depletion, and here are a few very potent ways you can start with.
Trust Others To Handle Their Own Issues
Be it your spouse, friends or colleagues; you must trust their wisdom and instincts to solve their own problem rather than imposing your solutions on them.
Their solutions may be different from yours, but they may just work out fine. Therefore, over caring and stressing over the matter may be completely unnecessary.
The less you care happier you will be
Help Only When Asked
This can be very difficult for a person that cares too much. But, unless it is your underage minor children or your pets, you must extend your assistance only when they ask.
Respect their decision on trying to solve their issues without any external assistance.
There’s Only So Much Care You Can Give As A Human
Over-caring individuals often feel defeated when their efforts do not make the situation better. This results in self-doubt and a lingering feeling of inadequacy.
If you have reached this point, remember, you are human, and there is only so much care you can give. There are times when caring alone does not make things better. The recipient of your care also has to play his / her part in order to welcome positive changes in their lives.
See If Others Care for You As Much As You Care For Them
Do others care for you as much as you care for them? More often than not, the answer is ‘NO’, the reason being, you may never have displayed the side of you that needs care and attention.
You may have thought if people see your vulnerabilities, they may stop seeking care from you.
At the end of the day, you end up bottling a volcano of emotional turmoil that erupts when no one is expecting it.
Allow Others To Care For You, the harmony of ‘caring and being cared for’ will always keep your happiness intact.
If Caring For Someone Is Exhausting You, Take A Break!
You may be the emotional support system for your close ones, but you need to give yourself a break too. See yourself as a sponge cleaning a can of spilled orange juice. There’s mess everywhere, and you are busy soaking it up to make things better.
But, as you keep absorbing, you get heavy and soggy till you cannot absorb any more. To be fit for absorbing spilt orange juice once again, you need to refresh your system.
Taking a break from emotionally exhausting caring is easier than you think
- Stay away from your phone
- Invest some time every day on self-care
- Stop checking on people every minute
- Be unavailable for a day or two
Try the above-mentioned tips, and the results will be outstanding.
Emancipate Yourself From The Fear Of Judgment
You should not be judged or criticized for not valuing other people’s opinions or feeling more than they deserve. You should also not be judged for not solving other people’s problems.
You are entitled to live your life your own way, believe in what you feel is right, help when your help is requested and do not take responsibility for other people’s decisions or mistakes. Never let the fear of judgment amplify your care meter unnecessarily.
Make a Checklist of Everything That Actually Requires Your Care
Your children’s diet and safety undoubtedly need your care and attention; what your neighbour feeds her cat should not be your priority (unless it is gross animal abuse). This is only an example of the things that you must prioritize in your care list.
If you see yourself spending more than a couple of minutes caring about things outside your care list, especially those that you cannot do anything to make better, say ‘I Couldn’t Care Less’ as loud as you can and walk away.
The Bottom Line
Having a short and precise Care-List does not mean that you are selfish, self-centred or arrogant. It only means that you are level-headed, focused and have your priorities in place. People will feel valued if they manage to make a place in this strictly prioritized care list.
So it is rightly said that the less you care, the happier you will be.
Also read: How To Stop Being Too Much Available?